Charlie vs. The Universe

  Photo: Courtesy of  Martha Ignacio

Photo: Courtesy of Martha Ignacio

I seem to find myself falling more and more infatuated with Charlie. After almost a year of teasing and games, I don’t know how it happened – but we started hanging out more privately.

You weren’t acting how you typically would in a similar scenario as you did a year ago. What changed?

You made me feel so warm and fuzzy again inside. My frozen walls were slowly dissolving for you. I realized I wanted to date you. And that’s a lot coming from a girl that hasn’t dated in 21 months (yes, I counted). Oh Charlie, I really liked the butterflies, but it seems like somewhere along the road… something went wrong.

Things were definitely different this time around, but I wasn’t sure what it was. I couldn’t figure it out and I hated it so much. Wasting all that energy on negativity… sigh, being oblivious to it all is what I would’ve preferred.

If you really wanted it, then you would’ve done something about it. I was told that you desired those you couldn’t have. I didn’t wanna play the game where I’d have to play “hard to get”. But you know what? Go ahead and do what you wanna do, but leave me out of it.

Let’s be real – if this were the old me “in love”, I would totally keep fighting for this. I wouldn’t have let go so easily, so early, and so quickly. But the thing is, if I had to choose between fighting for what I felt for Charlie and listen to the universe – it would be the latter. Every. Single. Time.

I’ve learned never to put my dreams on the back burner. I’m trying to leave this toxic city and live where my soul resides. No one’s going to stop me from getting my dream island. I’ve designed my life the way I want to live it, and I’m not gonna let all that hard work go to waste.

So, I’m not waiting for you to do something. I’ve come a long way to be able to dictate how I want to live my life, and I’m not going to stop now. I’ve put up with my fair share of ridiculous games – and I’ve had enough of that. I’m not gonna waste my precious time waiting to see what could happen between you and I.

I’m letting you go. It sucks, and it’s sad to say that things didn’t happen the way I thought it would. I truly liked you. On paper, we’ve each had our rap sheets, which I thought drew us closer somehow. We had good vibes all the time though; somehow it seemed like we could’ve made sense together. But there’s nothing more to be done.

Maybe the timing was off or we’re just not on the same wavelength right now. And that’s okay. I’m just happy we’re still legit friends. But right now, I gotta disappear for a while. I gotta get back to working on me now. Thanks for the short but scenic detour!

I’d like to believe that it’s in moments like these that the universe has your back and keeps you from messing with your inner peace. There’s something to learn from every experience, if you just let the lessons come to you.

I can’t complain because the universe has given me so much, and it doesn’t even feel like I lost you or anything like that.

There’s more in store for me – so why stop? I know that there’s still so much for me to learn, like that aspect of my life is not part of the plan right now for example. And lessons are the most beautiful things we can ever receive in this life – you can’t put a price tag on that.

It’s about having faith in the universe that eventually things will work out for you in the end. If you vibrate it, then you shall manifest it. Radiate goodness and it shall come back to you. Be love and love shall come to you. The universe knows its thing and will bring what’s right when it’s time.

Words by Martha Ignacio

IG: @discoveringmartha

Cola Paclibar